I did a workshop a few years ago on Healthy Relationships, ranging from healthy friendships to healthy dating. I decided I am going to start blogging some of that material. Because it is a lot of material, this will probably be a blog-series of about 6-8 posts. Stay tuned...my favorite section: the 6 F's: Foundations needed before even thinking of that next level with someone.
In order to have any sort of relationship, whether with a man or woman (friendship level included), there are some key Fundamental Principles that must be laid out. I believe without these foundations, what you are building will eventually be tested and reveal cracks (causing you to have to rebuild, which is always harder & more costly after the fact) or it will ultimately come crashing down. For a real life example of how important foundations are read this story.
1. Our relationship with Jesus is, and always will be our primary relationship. All other relationships should only push us closer to God, not distract us from Him. Exodus 20:3 says You shall have no other gods before Me. This is where you find your identity, security, fulfillment, and unconditional love, in Christ alone. No relationship, including marriage, can ever meet these needs the way God can. Colossians 2:10 says And in Him you have been made complete. (we'll address this one more in the 6 F's)
2. After our relationship with God, our relationship with people should be the highest priority in our lives. Matthew 22:37-39 says "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself." This includes building relationships with people that don't look like us, not our typical crowd, but with people from all ethnicities, backgrounds, and personalities. Don't let work, selfishness, or comfort get in the way of this...the only thing we get to take to heaven with us is our relationships (with God & people), everything else fades away!
3. Avoid unhealthy relationships. Our relationships have tremendous influence on our lives, both positive and negative. We should cut off relationships, if extreme and influence you to immoral lifestyles, and re-prioritize them if unhealthy so we can build relationships with people that will bring us closer to Christ and His purposes for us. 1 Corinthians 15:33 says Do not be decieved: Bad company corrupts good morals. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?
Keep a right perspective about this, cutting off doesn't mean being cold or mean to someone, but knowing who God is calling you to build with and spend the most time with. Your closest relationships should be with people walking in the same purposes and beliefs you have. Proverbs 13:20 says He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. To all the ladies out there: Building friendships with men who don't share your faith and standards can be spiritually, emotionally, and even physically dangerous. Many women have been led away from their walk with God through dating unbelieving men, even if their initial motives were to "missionary date". We must build sincere, pure, and godly friendships with men who believe what we do. And until you find that "man"...treat men as brothers (1 Tim. 5:1-2). Remember that your friend may be someone else's husband. Treat them how you would want other women to treat your husband. (Don't get me wrong, this can also be said to men!)
So what are your thoughts?
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