Building Blocks (On Healthy Relationships pt. 2)

There are 4 Building Blocks for True Friendship. These are both for guy/girl relationships and friendships with anyone. I believe these are essential if you want a healthy relationship.
1. Selflessness
2. Truthfulness and Transparency
3. Forgiveness
4. Time and Attention

Today I will share 2 of the 4.
1. Selflessness: John 15:13 says "Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends." We need to be an others-centered people. When building friendships that last we need to always be encouraging, strengthening, and building up others. It's so easy to take friendships and "chemistry" with people for granted. And to let time go buy without realizing you haven't done anything to add to others. I believe that serving someone will bring you closer to them.
I think it's a good idea to asses your friendships and relationships every so often to see what you are adding to the mix. It's easy to fall into a pattern of criticism and negativity, disguising it has humor, or give to a relationship with expectations of something in return. That is not true serving. When you give to recieve something (whether it be affirmation or intimacy from that person (esp. ladies to men!) you will always be left disappointed. When you give freely, with no strings attached, you will receive those things from God's hand- which will always satisfy!

Ladies, let me speak to you for the moment: Don't be afraid to serve your guy friends! Galatians 5:13 says "For you were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature, rather serve one another in love." Find ways to serve men that are appropriate to their needs without crossing boundaries of wisdom (if you don't know what these are, ask someone!) Continually check your motives to keep them pure. A word to the wise, don't single out on person for special treatment, but spread your encouragement and serving to other friends too. Do me a favor and don't be suspect...avoid spending alone time with a particular man, build friendships in group settings to avoid temptation and deception. Build for God's purposes, not your own.

Want some practical ways? Encourage them in their calling, affirm the great qualities you see in them, build them up instead of "jokingly" tearing them down. And finally allow men to serve you, women! (please refer to my previous post here) Asking men to serve us, and allowing them to affirms their manhood and God-give role to care for and protect women. And Thank them!

2. Truthfulness and Transparency
Openness in relationships and friendships protect us from temptation, deception and produce true intimacy. Please be honest and real with each other! This is such a pet-peeve of mine...when someone doesn't share what is on their heart. Speak the truth in love!
1 John 1:7 says "But if we walk in the light as He Himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin." Here, walking in light, means putting things out in the open and exposing things to light. Here is my word of warning though: share with men (unless you are married) on a guarded level (and vice versa). If you expose too much of your soul to men, it gives them an unhealthy connection in your life. There is a line between sharing vision and destiny, which is healthy and positive, and sharing your soul (mind, will, emotions), which can be intimate.

What do you believe are some essential building blocks to friendship? Give me feed back on these 2 if you have some.