Enemies of Friendship (On Healthy Relationships pt. 4)

We're on to a new topic in healthy relationships finally, we're over half way done with this series (I know you will be sad to see it go, since there have been so many responses) :). 

Enemies of Friendship

Enemies of Friendship include many things like gossip, exclusivity, betrayal, envy, jealousy, and dependence on the friendship rather than on God. To overcome them, we must have our security firmly in Christ (See first post). These are primarily for your relationships with friends, but trust me, they are VITAL in marriage or dating relationships.

 

2 obstacles to overcome in any relationship:

1. Offense

ALL close relationships will go through transitions and conflicts. Things will happen, people are human and are going to do things that you don't agree with or understand, and there will come a time when you or someone else will cause an offense. The question is... what will you do when that time comes? We can't take them so personally, we can't write people  off so quickly if we get hurt or offended. When building relationships you have to think long term. We must cover an offense in love and forgive (remember, there is a big future forgiveness post coming). 

Proverbs 19:11 says "A man's wisdom give him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense." 

So what do you do when it's not so easy to overlook an offense? Like Dee Brestin says "Our motivation for confrontation should always spring from a desire to improve the relationship or seek the other person's best." We must confront in love. It is easy to get angry and be resentful or want to pay it back to them, but we can't be selfish, we should always be looking to better our situations by bettering others.

We need to be committed to reconcile and talk through problems, not just throw in the towel. If you can't seem to work it out together, seek wisdom and counsel from someone else.

2. Unrealistic expectations

I could talk about this one for a long time, but in summary: Communicate and/or adjust expectations. Learn what you can and can't expect from a particular friendship/relationship. Don't put too much pressure on a friendship by putting that person on a pedestal. This is one where it is easy to get over-dependent on a friendship/relationship. When you are holding that person to ungodly standards in your life, you will be disappointed. When I say ungoldy, I mean holding someone to standards that are unrealistic, and not God-given (moral, ethical, etc).  When seasons change, the reality is you may not have the same level of friendship with a particular person. Deal with it, and don't feel rejected or guilty when friendships change. 

I believe that these 2 things are always going to be thrown at a relationship at any level, it's like a testing ground to see where that relationship is headed... so what are you going to do when faced with them?

Next On Relationships post: The 6 F's! Here's a taste.... Fulfillment, Feelings, Family, Finding, Forgetting, Fondling (yeah, that's right...stay tuned to see what this one is all about!) ha!