The 6 F's (On Healthy Relationships pt. 6)

It's finally time to complete the 6 F's! I'm sorry it has taken me so long to get this post out there, but if you missed the first 3 of 6, here is the link.

The 6 F's, or foundations needed before even thinking of that next level with a guy (and can be used vice versa for a girl) is what we have been talking about.

1. Fulfillment
2. Feelings
3. Family
4. Finding
5. Forgetting
6. Fondling

4. Finding wisdom in the counsel of many. You need an outside perspective of the situation, someone to let you know if you both are ready for that next step. You've probably heard before, and I totally believe that The Right thing at the Right time is the Right thing; The Right thing at the Wrong time is the Wrong thing; and the Wrong thing at the Wrong time is the Wrong Thing!
No matter how much you think you know that person, you need to make sure there isn't some big issue or sin in their life (or yours for that matter). You should see if they have accountability or spiritual coaches that could clue you in on timing and/or if there should even be a next step. I saw how important this was in my own life through friendships and relationships I had with my "spiritual coaches", who helped me see if even thinking about Ross was a good idea, and could be reality, or if I was just way off in a dream world. It's not about telling the world that you like someone, it's about being wise and thinking through a major step in your life. This is a lame example, but I am sure going to talk to my friends or connections in the financial world before I jump into the stock market and buy the first thing that looks good. I want to know what I would be investing in, you should to!

5. Forgetting "...one thing I do, forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead..." Phil. 3:12-14 You need to let go of the past, and not fear the future. Any past relationships that may have burned you need to be healed, and any that you haven't let go of yet must be cut off. I know from experience that they WILL come back to haunt you if you don't take care of them before moving into the next relationship. Even if you haven't ever been in a relationship, don't let the fear of failing keep you from the joy of being in one in the future. There is freedom in failure (whether you continue dating or not, I'm not talking about sin here). You learn from mistakes. A great book I would recommend that address this very topic is Lady in Waiting by Kendell & Jones.

6. Fondling I saved the best for last! There must be no hint of sexual immorality (Eph. 5:3), don't even look at a person lustfully or you have committed adultery in your heart (Matt. 5:28). This includes the M word, masturbation. Yes I typed it! You may think that is only an issue men deal with, but it is becoming a bigger one for women in the recent years. "That behavior undermines your integrity and even your ultimate sexual and emotional fulfillment once you are married. When we think about doing something, and play it out in our thoughts, it makes it much easier to engage in that behavior. IT is also an act of pride, telling God His Holy Spirit can't satisfy you so you have to yourself."- Shannon Ethridge. This is critical: You Must draw your line in the sand BEFORE You start dating. If you think you will be in a right mind to make the decision to not go any further physically, when you are in the heat of the moment... you will get burned. When you have the DTR (defining the relationship talk) you should have it in your mind to, right then, have the physical STANDARDS talk! Like I mentioned before, the way you hold to these standards not only shows how much you respect God, and his commands, but it especially shows how much you respect each other, and can trust each other for the years to come (if that is the case).

There you have it... I want FEEDBACK!

I will be posting one final On Relationships pt. 7 soon, on Courtship vs. Dating- my thoughts. So that will conclude this series... with perfection (7)